I'm a freelance writer and amateur filmmaker living in Los Angeles. Mostly I write funny stuff-- as I get a kick out of making people laugh. DennisAyers.com is a collection of my work. I've included pieces that I've published elsewhere (the Fake Gay News articles); short movies I've written and directed (Toot Sweet); material that I hope to publish eventually (the personal essays); and, finally, orphaned crap that would otherwise be at the bottom of my filing cabinet. (Alas, funny as I like to think it is, there's not much of a market these days for a Will & Grace spec script.)

The site started out as a personal blog in the late 1990's – a convenient way to share inside jokes and doctored photos with my friends. I've never marketed this site or advertised, but seems like thousands of strangers have stumbled upon DennisAyers.com over the years, which is great! Not sure how they find me, but I am always amazed and gratified by the emails I get from, say, the housewife in Melbourne who liked my instructions on How to Play Spoons . Or the physician in Des Moines who guffawed over the medical advice column parody – “My Health” by Dr. Dan.

If you're new to DennisAyers.com, I should warn you in advance – most of the content is pretty campy, lowbrow stuff. While I aspire to the lyric brilliance of, say, David Sedaris, often I wind up in John Waters territory. Sorry about that. Still, I am proud to say there is nothing violent, or cruel, or pornographic here, so browse around. And hey, if you get a laugh out of something, or want to be notified when new material gets added, by all means drop me a line and let me know!

Bloggers and the like, please feel free to link to any of the material on this site. I claim copyright ownership of all written material and video on this site, though I will admit to swiping the occasional .jpg or .gif from the web and then manipulating it in Photoshop-- hopefully, beyond all recognition. If you think you recognize the source or subject of a digital image here, well, bummer, and damn your eagle eyes. If you are the copyright owner and object to my alteration and use of said image, well, double bummer! Just drop me an email and let me know whether to remove or provide attribution.

I have some acknowledgements to make. First, thanks to my friend Karman Kregloe. Karman has been my creative sounding board for over 20 years. Many of the written pieces on this site have benefitted from her input. You can find Karman's work, both as a writer and editor, on the Logo websites: AfterEllen.com, AfterElton.com, and FakeGayNews.com. Karman also works with me on film projects and most recently was producer on the Toot Sweet video.

Speaking of Toot Sweet, I must also thank my cinematographer on this project, Tony Plamondon, as well as our brilliant lead actress, Shannon Morris (the woman in the black wig). Thanks also to the rest of the Toot Sweet cast who generously gave of their time and talents but, perhaps wisely, asked not to be identified by name. (The video is basically an extended fart joke so, really, one can hardly blame them.)

Finally, special thanks to artist and photographer, Clinton Gaughran. Clint has been my partner for over six years and is, hands down, the funniest guy I know. If you've never met him in person, well, you're really missing something.

Sincerely,

Dennis Ayers
dennis.ayers@gmail.com
August, 2006