Dear Doctor,

Our daughter Monique has a lovely nose. Its her most distinctive feature and is often commented upon. Admittedly though, its a little big. Yesterday Monique tearfully informed us she planned to have a nose job. She'd just come from the beach where sand crabs had tried to take refuge in her nostrils. "Listen Missy," we said. "Just because timid, burrowing creatures are attracted to you is no reason to cut off your nose to spite your face!" Despite our efforts to discourage her she remains adamant about surgery. Maybe a word from you will help.

Rita and Joel
Duck, NC

Here's my word --- "Jennifer Grey." All right, that's 2 words, but Monique, listen, don't you remember that actress in Dirty Dancing? Back when she had a career, she used to have a real honker. And Patrick Swayze didn't seem to mind, did he?  After Dirty Dancing, that girl had extensive rhinoplasty. And have you seen her in anything lately? I don't think so! Monique, your parents are right. Forget about that nose job. Instead, try enlarging your other features via collagen injections. It worked for me.