Dear Doctor,

Our son has shop class, and somehow the crazy kid managed to drive a steel rivet though his cheek. It looks kind of funny and he has a hell of a time shaving. Should we seek medical attention?

Herb & Jean
Duluth, MN

You know, I'm really glad your son is taking shop. I was sickly as a child and didn't have the chance. At my school, shop was right next to the infirmary. Sometimes, from my cot, I could hear the drills and screams of freshmen. Your letter brings back fond, moist memories.
But about your son. Medical attention is not necessary. That unsightly rivet can always be camouflaged with a festive refrigerator magnet.