Fade in on back of man’s head. He is seated in barber’s chair draped in a floral hair bib. Close up on hands of STYLIST putting the finishing touches on the head of legendary international hair model, GUY. (Rhymes with "Twee")

Camera pulls back and we see several ONLOOKERS to the sides staring intently at the hair work in progress. Oohs and ahs all around. SALON OWNER, nearest, nods enthusiastically.

Camera moves out now and we get a medium shot of STYLIST and GUY’s back.. Finally full front shot of Guy. He is staring directly at camera (his mirror). The hair is jet black with pointy sideburns and a lot of spray–reminiscent of Roy of "Siegfried and Roy" Leans forward and gives himself a sideways squint.

GUYturns swiftly to SALON OWNER.

A rapidly spinning magazine-- the way newspaper headlines are revealed in old movies. Cover of magazine is "Hair Legends" International Men’s Hair Magazine. GUY is on the cover, squinting piratically. Caption reads "Cover Model Guy deBoo Walks the Plank!"

A thrall of conventioneers mill about. Titling appears. "International Men’s Hair Expo, Washington DC."

A "hair" fashion show is in progress. MC is standing by a podium commentating as hair model TIMOTHY in some sort of Tarzan outfit (an ill fitting fake fur toga) comes down the runway. His hair is long, brown, matted and braided with what appears to be sticks. He attempts a savage pose.

TIMOTHY attempts to roar like a lion.

TIMOTHY gives a saucy grin and a thumb’s up as he exits to applause.

Cut to brief shot of front rows where there are some overexcited FANS and reporters.

TIMOTHY parts curtains and enters. Next MODEL steps out onto runway. Camera stays backstage giving you a panorama of nervous hair models and their assistants. You can hear COMMENTATOR and crowd in background. Camera follows backstage manager who carries a clipboard and hectors the talent.

BACKSTAGE MANAGER approaches Guy deBoo, who is seated in a "VIP" area quite close to the curtain. He has an overstuffed chair, magazine rack, bonbons and a glass of champagne. At his feet are two porcelain foo dogs, "Chew Chew" and ""Cupcake." Around him on all sides is a four-foot velvet rope stand demarcating his "space". On the back of his armchair headrest is some sort of large lace paper doily. A prominent sign reads ‘reserved for Mr. Guy deBoo’ He is a star and at this moment you realize that everyone pays deference to him.

GUY waves to his perfectly coiffed hair

GUY dismisses manager with a wave and then returns to his magazine and glass of wine. Camera moves in closer and then suddenly GUY turns to stare into camera. He gives us a sultry look and holds this as if for a photographer to snap a picture. Sound of fashion show slow fades as GUY’s voiceover begins.

Titles at bottom "1983. Cherry Hill, New Jersey". GUY, made up to look youthful, in parachute pants and classically bad "Corey Hart" Sunglasses at Night paraphernalia. He is handing out Xeroxed head shots of himself. Most mallgoers don’t know what to make of this, but JERRY HATHAWAY in poly-blend suit and badge reading "talent agent" takes an intent look at the Xerox handout.

In flashback scene, JERRY’S expression turns to a leer.

Passersby stop to gawk at GUY in horrible haircut and mid-eighties Michael Jackson influenced getup. He stands stock still in the large display window of hair salon . He moves imperceptibly, mechanically, in the manner of an animatronic mannequin.

Fade to….

Pictures whiz by of GUY modeling various hairstyles popular in the eighties and early nineties. The Dudley Moore shag is represented, as is the Wink Martindale "shelf", The Bob Marley dreadlocks, and the Christopher Atkins Blue Lagoon perm, etc. We’ll have to do this either with wigs OR fiddle with it in Photoshop to create still images.

(voiceover)

Cut to…

We are still in GUY'S flashback, but this scene is more recent and the sepia tones have drained away. We see GUY stepping out of limousine onto red carpet (high hair and all). A crowd of FANS on either side of carpet. Someone hands him a bouquet of roses. We can tell by a sign that the event is the opening of a Regis hair salon.

Quick shot of GUY opening a fan mail letter and a bunch of hair tied with ribbon falls out. Givs "Ewh!" expression.

In flashback, FANS scream and reach out to touch his hair. He slaps at them. Finally pulls out small vial and hits them with pepper spray.

We are back in the present. BACKSTAGE MANAGER is trying to wake Guy, who has fallen asleep in his armchair. His head has lolled back and now his hair is badly plastered to one side.

BACKSTAGE MANAGER shakes Guy’s shoulder, snapping him awake.

BACKASTAGE MANAGER stares quizzically at GUY. He is distressed by the disheveled hair. The lace paper doily is sticking to one side of his head.

VON tears recklessly towards GUY'S cordoned off space. He pauses, not sure how to enter. Guy points to the front rope. VON enters, kneels reverentially and opens up his ridiculously small belly pack of combs, spritzes, hairpicks, etc. He immediately snatches away the head rest doily and shoves it surreptitiously down his shirtfront. A keepsake. Only now it forms what appears to be one small breast.

GUYjuts his jaw out and looks away — a little embarrassed that he’s needed a fluffer but not willing to show it. He peaks surreptitiously at VON, who ministers to his hair.

VON pulls out aerosol can and applies finishing coat to GUY's head. He smiles proudly at his work.

VON holds a mirror so that GUY can see the finished results. He looks just as silly as ever.

GUY kisses porcelain dogs, Chew Chew and Cupcake ont heir heads and then gestures to rope — VON at last realizes that GUY expects him to open it for him and does so.

GUY smiles at his own generosity and then steps out from behind the curtain into the spotlight. Sound of mad applause and the MC introducing him..

Closeup of VON’s face, which turns from wide-eyed innocent to cooly calculating

(quietly, to himself)

The place is decorated with lots of pictures of GUY. Chew Chew and Cupcake are here now too, planted in front of couch. We see VON in small apron scurrying about, placing candles, candy dishes, appetizer trays.

Offscreen we hear GUY.

Doorbell rings. VON smoothes his apron and takes a quick peek at himself in hall mirror before answering. Enter TOM BUCCI, GUY's current manager.

GUY appears in doorway from bedroom. He is "done up" for the evening

VON retreats to kitchen to make drinks)

Both throw heads back and laugh.

(as VON returns with drinks)

Doorbell rings again but VON is listening too intently to Bucci to notice.

VON runs to door and in background lets in revelers. As they enter GUY yells out to them.

GUY points to walkways laid down on floor-- strips of deocrator paper towels-- presumably to protect the carpeting. Guests dutifully stick to paper, reaching desperately to get to the appetizer table.

It is after hours. GUY is seated at table across from OCTOVIO FARBUS, who is showing him some sketches of the campaign hairstyle along with storyboards, samle print ads and ridiculous premium item props scattered around.

VON is standing to side behind GUY. He has been hanging on every word.

VON plunks down in the barber's chair, giddy. OCTOVIO makes a dramatic toss of the salon bib.

INT TEASER'S HAIR SALON -- 2 HOURS LATER

Close-up on back of VON's head in chair. You see OCTOVIO'S hands working at the last little details. Camera pulls back to GUY, BUCCI and SALON WORKERS appraising the work. All seem in awe. And Voila! OCTOVIO turns the chair and VON goes wide-eyed at his reflection in the mirror. The wounded pigeon is sort of a modified John Tesh look. VON is in rapture at his own reflection.

Closeup on VON in barber's chair. Looking at himself, sideways squint.

GUY is sitting on couch in smoking jacket. Under one of two large hair dryers. He is clutching a very large Cosmo -type drink with elaborate garnish. Several empty cosmo glasses are on tv tray in front of him. He has SILENT FRIEND with him under other dryer. SILENT FRIEND says nothing, only sips his drink and has cell phone plastered to his cheek the entire time.

VON takes empty glasses and exits to kitchen

Camera shot switches to kitchen, where VON is setting down drink tray.

VON pulls two ice cream sundaes, ready-made, from the freezer. He opens cabinet reaches deep in the back and pulls out a yellow box. We don't see the label.

From the box, he sprinkles what looks like green pellets on top of tone of the sundaes and then drops a maraschino cherry on the top of both. VON exits, but camera stays in kitchen. Focused on picture of GUY on the refrigerator.

(offscreen)

Camera, still in kitchen, pans down to counter and the open box. Label reads Rat pellets. Danger. Poison.

BUCCI and OCTOVIO are in the hallway , knocking loudly on the apartment door. Door finally opens. Its VON. He is still in towel turban. He is distraught.

GUY appears from bathroom doorway. He is dressed for the runway (tuxedo) but clearly he has had difficulty. He looks terrible, green about the gills.

GUY doubles over.

GUY retches into a nearby wicker basket.

OCTOVIUS pulls BUCCI aside, out of GUY and VON's earshot.

Another retch can be heard coming from GUY

VON takes off his turban and reveals a perfectly coiffed wounded pigeon beneath. He puts it around GUY's head.

BUCCI and OCTOVIO look at VON, then look at each other .

(looking up from ministering to GUY. Angelic)

OCTOVIO has already pulled out his cell phone.

GUY is seated on couch. He is in bathrobe again and has two defibrillator paddles affixed to his chest. While less near death, still looks ill.

Someone dabs at his forehead. It’s the DEAF MUTE SHAMPOO BOY.

Look of incomprehension on DEAF MUTE'S face.

Frustrated, GUY has to sort of pantomime. Finally, DEAF MUTE gets it and goes into kitchen to retrieve trash basket. Comes out with another item, perhaps a ceramic compote bowl. GUY shakes his head and sends him back to kitchen

GUY flicks on television. It’s a live telecast of the hair expo.

On television screen the image switches to TELEVISION COMMENTATORS. You can see Cut Hut model, OMAR, in background and hear MC.

DEAF MUTE obstructs tv screen briefly as he returns with gigantic nut dish from kitchen. Sets it on floor beside GUY, who is too focused on tv to notice.

GUY turns away from the television. Groans in despair.

VON steps out onto the runway. Like Venus springing from the clam shell. Spotlights light up his hair. The AUDIENCE gasps in unison.

GUY pulls trash can closer to him and leans his head over. He squints at something he sees in basket. He pulls out rat poison. Reaction shot as he registers the betrayal. Framed in background on tv is VON waving to crowd, kissing, accepting roses.

The lights are out but we hear the sound of a key in the door. Door opens, light from hallway flooding in. VON enters darkened apartment. In tuxedo and carrying dozen red roses. He flicks on light and there is GUY. Looking ominous. VON lets out a little shriek of fright.

VON sheepishly hands GUY the dozen red roses he's carrying.

VON slides warily past GUY and enters bathroom. Looks at himself in the mirror approvingly.

VON cuts shower on and begins to undress. He gets in shower. Camera is in steamy bathroom.. VON washes his underarms. He has his back to shower curtain.

Cut to door handle which begins to turn. Door opens a crack. Return to inside shower. VON still oblivious. He is humming to himself. Through the steam and shower curtain you see a form approaching. You see the distinct outline of an arm upraised and some sort of weapon in hand. Suddenly the curtain gets ripped back. Ominous music reaches crescendo. VON turns and screams a la Janet Leigh. You see the arm descending. In the hand, a pair of scissors. More screams. VON fighting off the attack. Shot of the hand raised again -- this time it clutches a hair pick. More screams. Hand raised again, this time a curling iron. Hand raised again, this last time a blow dryer with diffuser.

VON stops fighting. Close-up on his blank face. His hair, the wounded pigeon, is ruined. Completely hacked at and unkempt. He tries to say something but no sound. He slowly sinks to the bottom of the shower, pulling the shower curtain with him. Close up on his face. He is in fetal position. There is no blood in evidence, but the camera follows clumps of hair as they drain from the tub and collect in the drain trap.